When Love Doesn’t Feel Like Enough

“ Your child doesn’t need flawlessness — they need your maturity. Rooted in love. Restored by grace.” - Maxine Golden

Introduction:

Adoption is beautiful, but it’s also layered, sacred, and often misunderstood. If you’ve ever whispered, “I love my child, but I don’t know what else to do,” you’re not alone. Many adoptive parents step into this journey with open hearts, only to feel overwhelmed by behaviors that love alone doesn't seem to reach.

At the Center for Parent Coaching, we believe that when we parent from peace instead of panic, everything changes. That’s why we created Rooted & Restored — a brain-based, trust-based, and spirit-led pathway for parents navigating adoption with intention, compassion, and Christ-centred hope.

8 Reasons to Parent from Love and Trust — Not Fear 👊

Love Builds Safety, Fear Erodes It.
Children from hard places need to feel safe before they can learn, grow, or connect. Parenting from love communicates, “You’re secure with me.” Fear-based reactions only reinforce danger cues in the brain.

1. Trust Rewires the Brain for Healing
   When we meet dysregulation with calm, consistent care, we help our children form new neural pathways that shift them from survival to connection.

2. Fear May Control Behavior — Love Transforms Hearts
   Fear might stop a behavior temporarily, but only love, trust, and compassion bring lasting change from the inside out.

3. The Holy Spirit Doesn’t Parent Through Shame
   God invites us to parent like He parents us — with patience, truth, and tender correction. He leads with kindness, not intimidation.

4. Love Makes Room for Mistakes
   Parenting from love creates space for learning, grace, and repair. Fear-based parenting often punishes mistakes instead of teaching through them.

5. Trust-Based Parenting Strengthens Attachment
   Connection is the foundation of secure attachment. When children trust that you will respond with love instead of punishment, their emotional bond with you deepens.

6. Parenting from Peace Regulates the Whole Household
   Your nervous system sets the tone. When you lead with calm, your child is more likely to co-regulate — not escalate.

7. Love Mirrors the Gospel
   Our children encounter God’s love first through us. When we lead with love and trust, we model the same grace we’ve been given: unearned, unwavering, and unshakable.

8. Love Mirrors the Gospel
   Our children encounter God’s love first through us. When we lead with love and trust, we model the same grace we’ve been given: unearned, unwavering, and unshakable.